Wig nights are a thing now. Girls buy cheap plastic hair off Amazon and wear them out to the bar for a fun twist on a night out. Bachelorette wigs, girls night out wigs. It's a thing, Google it. But tbh, fake hair has been my thing since freshman year of high school. I've worn extensions since then because my hair is so baby fine and doesn't grow and I did not get blessed with good genetics in that department. But it's never bothered me. Hair is like makeup, everyone is adding a little extra these days. The Kardashian's rarely wear their natural hair, Ariana Grande's ponytail is fake, the stars are doing it and so am I. In high school, I dabbled in wigs for a bit. I had a blonde one with bangs like Hannah Montana (I actually dressed up as Hannah for a fake lip sync "concert" at a party once, but that's a story for another time). I also had a red one to satisfy my wilder side (you can see this one featured on my school picture day in 10th grade). I remember taking my wig off and passing it around for the boys in my class to try on. Wigs were fun, but those looked pretty fake. I've never been ashamed of my hair, I just would rather have fun adding in the fake stuff than leaving it scraggly when it's natural.
So two weeks ago when someone introduced me to the world of hair toppers, my whole life changed. My hair has been significantly thinning from the extensions ripping it out slowly. So bad that it is to the point where my students would point out that my "weave is showin". But then I stumbled upon a Facebook group filled with women of all ages suffering varying degrees of hair loss and they introduced me to Highline Wigs. This topper is so real that my students haven't even discovered its a wig yet. I work in the urban schools and they literally don't even know (if you're catching my drift). It's a 10/10 and I'm definitely not embarrassed to tell people it's a wig. In fact, I've gone out of my way to tell several people just so they can appreciate how great it is. Yes, the photo at the end of this blog is a WIG.
Anyways, the point of this post isn't to advertise Highline (but Sharon if you want to sponsor me, lmk), but instead to tell you what it is like to try dating with this thing. It's only been a week but I already had quite the hair experience already and I hope you're here for it. I went out Friday night with my friends from Bloom and my roommates to showcase my new 'do. It was sort of a "date" for my one friend meeting a guy for the first time, and he just so happened to bring along a cutie so I made it my date as well. Who needs group dates on The Bachelor when you have spontaneous group dates at Garage instead. It was such a fun night bouncing between bars and finally having a nice head of hair to compliment my outfit. Out of all my recent nights at the bar, I had finally found a cute boy that didn't ask about my student debt status, wasn't a Jesus lover, didn't slide into my DMs, didn't involve his parents and his soul, and someone that finally fit my criteria. He was cute. Since Friday, I have debated what details to include on a public forum that my mother reads.. but I've decided the juicy details are what give this story life. So sorry mom (and probably my grandma), but I'm 26 years old so if you think I'm not out living my best life you're wrong, also if you want to stop reading, now might be the time...
After a fun filled night of dancing in the attic of some weird bar playing music from who knows what genre while drinking a PBR (that was bought for me I should add, not a go-to choice for me), my checklist-type of guy said the statement that all girls have heard at some point.. 'Let's go back to my place'. I thought about it.... And then thought Fuck it. I'm young, it's been a while and he was cute, so I went. On our Uber ride there he said that he owns his house and that he had a twin brother, because the hot ones are always a twin. The whole time all I could think was "shit, what about my wig..." Finally, back at his place, I lay staring at the ceiling wondering at what point I casually mention that this beautiful hair of mine is not attached to my head. After a solid 5 minutes of silence he finally says, "you can take your extensions out if you want". I actually LOLed but I happily obliged only slightly concerned about how he knew but whatever. I wasn't about to sleep in a wig that costs more than my rent. I told him I had hair underneath, a full head to be exact and it wasn't that weird. TBH I think I was overthinking it way more than necessary because he didn't ask me any questions about it so he probably didn't care, or he was being polite, either one I'm cool with. The best part about this wig was the next morning I just popped it back on and like magic, my hair looked flawless and ready for the day. The rest of my appearance however, that was another story.
We will see if this criteria-checking boy turns out to be more normal than the last few prospects. Hopefully the wig didn't scare him off, although if it did that says a lot about his character as well. Sorry mom for ruining the perfect image of your daughter, but I wasn't lying when I told you I've had fun all these years. I have the rest of a long life to share with one person so until he comes my way, I can't be a vegetable. The point of this all isn't about these juicy details though. It's about being confident enough to own who you are, even if that means adding a little something. If you can't handle a woman who wears a wig, then swipe left because this is the best thing to happen to me in a long, long time.
I woke up this morning and couldn't wait to get my fingers to the keyboard. The most bizarre situation occurred last night and I just have to write it out to make any sense of the situation. I'm still trying to figure out if it is an April Fool's joke or if this is just the oddest thing to ever happen, so let me set the scene and you can decide...
I've written a lot about dating apps and how they aren't really seeming to work out for me, but last week I finally got a response to a Dr. Seuss pick up line and the guy seemed to be ~normal~. We chatted a bit through the app, I found the perfect time to segway into passing along my number, and then we texted pretty consistently through the weekend. I was excited about having someone to talk with and get to know in that fun, early stage. But then I woke up to the WEIRDEST text message I've ever received in my whole life, and I quote:
"Hey I’m sorry, I did some soul searching and talking with the parents tonight and I’m not gonna be looking for a relationship for a while. I wish you the best of luck though in all your future endeavors"
First of all, you talked to your parents? I would never tell my mom about a guy I matched with on Bumble and was texting for two days, and I'm close with my mom. Second, what kind of soul searching did you do? It was literally 72 hours of "where'd you go to school?" and "any fun plans for the weekend?". Your number wasn't even saved in my phone yet and you had to search your soul to determine if you're relationship ready or not?! Okay.. If I didn't use your number to secretly stalk you on social media, I wouldn't even know your last name!! Two. Days. How would you even be thinking so far ahead to label it a relationship when you literally don't even know what I look like in person. Also... good luck in my endeavors? Was this a job interview that I just got denied for? Because that sound a lot like a rejection email I received for an application that I didn't quite qualify for.
Waking up at 7:30 to a text like this was straight up bizarre. Don't get me wrong, I PREACH about not being ghosted and I even responded saying thanks for not ghosting me, but it was a little deep for a 72-hour period of "talking". A simple 'hey I don't think I want to pursue this further' would've been acceptable. I say it all the time that you owe no one an explanation of your feelings, but to involve your parents and your soul is just weird. I don't need your parents knowing about a girl that you haven't even met yet.. And if he didn't actually talk to his parents about it, then that's an even weirder excuse to come up with.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around it because it was just so out of the ordinary. Saturday he even asked what my plans were if I was in the city he'd love to buy me a drink. So what changed? He also told me about a dental surgery that he has coming up this week, and went into a little too much detail for my liking, and then pulled the parent card. I guess I will count my blessings that it ended before it began if it turns out he's a weird person. This is a prime example of why I don't bother to save a guys number until he proves himself worthy, and also this is a harsh look into what millennial dating actually looks like. I guess I should be thankful he had the balls to tell me about his soul instead of just leaving me to wonder what if... 🤷🏼♀️ thank u, next.
Author - mallory
I've always lived a wild life, so here I am to document it for the world... be ready for some fun adventures, xoxo.