My heart goes out to kids today. I do not envy children growing up in this social media crazed world. I sit in middle and high school classrooms and watch just how much technology is affecting these young kids and it truly breaks my heart. When I was in middle school, phones were barely a thing. I grew up with a bag phone in my moms minivan and my first cell phone belonged to Nextel... a company that doesn't even exist anymore. I know that people older than myself reading this right now are thinking "When I was a kid we didn't even have computers" and it's true, that times are always changing. But for kids these days, I see how technology has really affected them.
I read another blog recently about social media and it was a good read. And now, as I sit in a high school class right now, I realize just how true it is. I remember when I was in high school and texting really became a thing, I had a limit of 500 texts a month. This seems unreal now because my entire life lives on my iPhone.. 500 texts a month?! I send that in one week. I used to spend hours on the phone at night with my friend Andrew. I remember calling his house and having to ask his parents if he was home to talk. Do people even do that anymore? Now it's all FaceTime and texting and calling and talking to someone's parents just doesn't happen. And that's sad.
Yesterday, I watched a girl in my class post an Instagram story and then sit there and refresh her page to see who viewed it. In my high school, if you had AT&T you didn't even get service in majority of the school. School was once peaceful and now I have eight students with headphones in listening to rap music and watching videos of their friends that are skipping class right now. I don't envy these kids because they have become so involved with social media that nothing is left to be wondered anymore. They don't need to go home and ask their friends what their day was like because Snapchat captures it all live. They don't need to be surprised when they show up to school and their friend isn't there because they already know they stayed home today.
Don't get me wrong, I love technology. I am absolutely guilty of tracking my friends on SnapMap and updating my Twitter with a random thought that I have during the day. But as an adult, I wouldn't have wanted this for my childhood self. I cherished the hours I spent on the home phone with my friends. I LOVED instant messenger and updating my status and having to get off the computer when my mom needed the phone because you couldn't do both. I don't envy children these days that feel the need to check their social media to see how many likes they have and who has viewed their story. These kids are ruining their self-confidence because of social media.. and that's sad.
Obviously technology and social media at their age is inevitable. Their friends get Instagrams, they need to download it too. There's a new app developed that they can connect with their friends, they do it too. In a way, it's a peer pressure that we experienced too, just in a different form. I remember my friends getting the first iPhone and I still had a blackberry and was so jealous that I bought a fake iPhone from China off of eBay. It's always been this way, but now it seems worse. I guess that's because I'm an adult now and that's just the way we see kids....
I haven't been on a date in five years. Since my last college boyfriend Shane, I haven't been on a date. As a matter of fact, I haven't ever been on a date with someone I wasn't actually "dating". In high school, I dated Corey and our "dates" consisted of skiing usually, sometimes walking around the mall. In college I dated Brian.. and I don't think we ever went on a date. And then I dated Shane, and we did things together which constitutes a "date" I guess, but other than the boys I dated, I never went on an actual "date".
So a few months ago I wrote about the boy with the letter, Henry. I wrote an entire blog post about the way we met at the bar and we wrote letters back and forth and how I texted him and it took him a month to answer. And now for the last four weeks we've been trying to plan a date. Every week for four weeks one would text and the other would be busy. We finally set a date for tonight and I honestly wish I could go back to saying I haven't been on a date in five years.
I don't want to bad mouth anybody because maybe he was nervous. And to be fair, I didn't go in with the most positive attitude about it either. It had been seven months since we met at the bar, I honestly didn't even remember what he looked like. I dreaded the date all day, the hours leading up to it I wanted to cancel, but I stuck it out because I was being a baby and now here I am about to tell you about quite possibly the most uncomfortable night ever.
In the letter he originally wrote back to me, he said "lets get burgers at the Goat's Beard". Okay, cool. Well since I received the letter in the beginning of September, I've learned one major thing about Henry. He SUCKS at communication. We haven't texted more than "are you free this Thursday?" "nope, maybe next week", for a month. It's been quite annoying and quite exhausting. So we finally set a date to go to Goat's Beard tonight, a place I have never been. I did what every girl does before a date and googled the menu to prescreen what I wanted. This place was hella expensive. I'm talking the kind of place that has 8 entrees to choose from and 7 of them are over $35. The cheapest thing on the menu was the burgers. So I decided to get a burger since that's what he suggested anyway. and here's how the date went...
I arrived at the restaurant first. The bar was packed, not a single open seat. The bar tables were packed. So I ordered a drink to calm my nerves and then asked the hostess for a table. Since I couldn't remember what he even looked like, I shot him a text and told him where I was sitting. When he arrived, the waiter got him a drink too and we started our date. It started off great, he was cute, like way cuter than I remembered. It was dinner time, almost seven, I was getting hungry from not eating since lunch at 12:30 and just before the waiter came back to order our food he dropped the too-soon-date-ending line "Are you actually hungry because this place is kinda expensive, even the burgers are over $15"........................ Well what do you say to that? Yes, I'm still hungry? You can sit here and watch me eat? So of course I was polite and said "no, I'm not too hungry". The poor waiter came over five times to ask us if we were ready to order and I just sat there embarrassed that we were even at a table. For the first time in five years, I wanted to be anywhere else but at that table. The rest of the date went on, I was already in a sour mood both from before the date even began and then again right after this moment. How do you ask someone out to dinner and then not get dinner..? If you just wanted drinks then you should've just said drinks. I was over it. It's an actual shame too because he was really cute.. so I was both bummed and annoyed at the same time. He also asked me bizarre questions like how much student debt I'm in... (the answer to which is so much that I need to marry rich so I'm not poor forever, how much money do you make?). I really tried to give the benefit of the doubt and say that he was nervous. He also said he had a really bad day at work, to which I responded "well you should have rescheduled then". Because tbh I would much rather us reschedule for the 8th time than for whatever experience you call tonight.
It sucks that this was the card I was dealt after so many years of being single. This was my crash course into dating because I had little to no interest in dating quite yet anyway. There was a lot of anticipation to this date. The letters, the back and forth, it seemed like the epic love story. But it sorta backfired and slammed my expectations. I know that life isn't like the movies (as badly as I wanted it to be), but life is not this night. This is not how a date should go not even how a bad first date should go and definitely not how I anticipated (or prepared) it would be.
The night ended with an awkward hug and me sprinting off to home to snuggle up with my sweet angel, Hudson, who is the only man I need. I know that my prince charming is out there and maybe he is reading this right now (in which case feel free to come take me on a better first date). I will find the man that compliments my soul and makes me a better person. And tonight, in this exact moment, I sadly don't think that's Henry. Good luck to my next suitor, it can only go up from here...
I learned to drive when I was seven years old in my dad's old pickup truck. Sitting on a speaker because I couldn't see over the steering wheel, I learned how to do a three-point turn on the railroad tracks behind my house. Ever since then, my dad still teaches me how to drive every time he's in car. He tells me I'm too heavy on the brakes (which I am), he tells me I'm going too fast (because he drives like a turtle), and as annoying as a backseat driver is, last night I called my dad just to thank him for teaching me how to drive.
Philly got hit with quite the snowstorm yesterday that I don't think anyone was expecting. Sitting in school, I watched the snow accumulate and knew it was going to be a long drive home. By the time school dismissed (at normal time because Philly refuses to ever let out early), there was already almost three inches of snow and no end in sight. I picked my roommates up at the subway station near the school I was working at, and we started our trek home.
What is normally a 20 minute drive home, just seven miles outside of the city, took two and a half hours. When there isn't a snowstorm Philly drivers make their own laws, but in a snowstorm, laws really don't exist. There were people driving down one ways the wrong way, people driving through peoples yards to get around traffic jams, Uber drivers creating third lanes in a two lane area, it was an absolute nightmare. The time on our GPS kept going up as we got closer to home, it was absolutely miserable.
But lucky for us, my dad taught me how to drive in the snow, even without four wheel drive. I learned important things like when your car is sliding on ice or slush, put your car in neutral because drive pulls the car forward even with the brakes and neutral will make the transmission stop turning the wheels, and that you should pump the brakes instead of slamming them, and most importantly, to make it up a hill with only front wheel drive, DON'T STOP HALFWAY UP THE HILL (and keep your speed consistent). As some lady in her BMW sat spinning on a hill while a line of cars sat behind her waiting, the skills my dad gave me allowed me to wait at the bottom, get a "running start" and pass the 10 cars that yelled at me not to go up the hill without all wheel drive. We made it to the top effortlessly and I waved as they pushed this lady to the top.
Finally back in Manayunk, we saw three school busses that slid off the road and an inexperienced driver had the back roads blocked. After two men tried to help her by pushing her up a hill in the wrong direction of the one way street, I offered to drive her car to the bottom of the hill for her. I wasn't afraid of the slushy hill because I was two blocks from home and sick of being in my car and it was the only path to my house so I drove a stranger's car down the hill for her and then ran back for my own car as people thanked me for letting up traffic.
Moral of the story is simple. If you didn't have a dad that taught you how to drive in the snow, stay home. The people that didn't know how to drive yesterday were the ones causing the traffic jams. Drive slow in the snow, read the road, and remember that laws still apply in the snow (@ the uber driver who cursed me out for not moving through a green light when traffic was stopped on the other side). And if you absolutely must drive in the snow and you suck at it, get a car with four wheel drive.. it's really not that hard. So thank you to my dad who taught me how to be a great driver so that I could be Manayunk's hero last night. When I have kids, they will absolutely be learning how to drive in the snow so that they can be better drivers and be able to make it home in any situation. xoxo
Author - mallory
I've always lived a wild life, so here I am to document it for the world... be ready for some fun adventures, xoxo.