As with most things I start, I tend to lose interest and forget to maintain it (i.e updating my blog regularly). It's a miracle how I manage to keep my succulents alive. But as I've done before, I dropped off the radar for a while and I am now back to entertain you all once again. You're welcome.
I've recently taken up the hobby of actively dating again. And by recent I mean the last date I went on was with Henry a year ago when he made me starve and asked about my lingering student debt... that was over a year and a half ago. Dating is a lot of work and it's hard to find someone that checks off all my boxes before I commit to leaving my house past 5pm and trying to make small talk about what we do for a living. But I have recently been inspired by the singleness of my roommates to get out there because I'm not getting any younger and as much as I manifest it, my future husband isn't going to just knock on my door and be like 'hey, here I am'...
So I've been a more active swiper on Bumble and Hinge, and so far it hasn't been all that terrible. With the exception of Bumble Steven (who met my roommates and I out about 2 vodka sodas past when meeting anyone for the first time was a good idea and then ghosted me the next day) the rest of them are measuring up to not be so bad...?
A wise uber driver once said that dating is just a series of job interviews, and I've never been more inspired. I have probably been on the most job interviews of anyone I know and somehow I always manage to land the job, so I've decided to adopt that mentality into my dating life while asking them vague questions like 'what are your weaknesses?' and 'does this date include access to your 401k?' Dating boys is basically a full-time job anyway, so we might as well play the role.
So I had my first interview, since being ghosted by Bumble Steven about a month ago, last weekend as a blind double date. I wasn't entirely interested before going, but I wanted to hang out with my roommate and was tired of sitting home on a Friday night while everyone else in my house was out dating... So we went out on Main Street and grabbed some beers with the intentions of hopping to a local brewery that has board games after a beer or two. At the first bar, my roommates date picked up the tab for the four of us and told his friend to grab the next tab at the game bar. Cool. Off we went. Now let me set the scene for you... this is a small cafe-by-day, brewery-by-night/co-working space-by-week, it's small, it's all self-serve, you get a table, go to the small makeshift "bar", get your drinks, and take a seat. And that is what we did. But when we got to the bar and ordered two flights, my date didn't make a move on paying the bill. Being the feminist I am, I pulled out my wallet with no intention of actually paying the bill, but he just picked up his flight and walked away... Even the bartender was confused, but my blind date who hadn't paid for any drinks yet, was keeping his streak alive and drinking for free... on me.
It took a lot for me to not start a GoFundMe right then and there because your girl makes no money and definitely doesn't want to spend it on a guy who thinks that chivalry is dead. Now before all the millennials come yelling "it's 2020, why should a man pay for dates", I definitely agree with you. I am totally down to split the bill or even pick up the check from time to time, but on a first date, I will stand my ground until the day I die... men should pick up the tab, unless I asked you out, which I didn't.
So I sat through a round of Scattergories and drank my beer and then suggested we move on to our home turf that is Sona. The bartenders know us by name, our Christmas card is hanging beautifully on the wall for all to see, I'm comfortable there and it's one step closer to home where I could escape this horrible date. When we got to Sona, our favorite bartender Chris was waiting with open arms. I drafted a text on my phone saying that my cheap date hasn't paid for anything all night so start a tab but I refuse to pay it. Maybe about an hour went by and the most bizarre situation I've ever been a part of happened... My roommate's phone rang and it was her brother and I picked up because I secretly love him and apparently that must have been portrayed across my face because after I said hi and passed off the phone my date looked me dead in the eyeballs, exchanged some words I won't post here, high-fived me, and LEFT. My jaw hit the floor because no way was I paying for this kids tab once again... thank god Chris was #TeamMal because he didn't charge me for my drinks and put my dates' on his friends tab. This is why men suck and why dating is so hard...
In the meantime, I will keep on trying to date, trying being my key word. Bumble doesn't seem to be working out for me, blind dates aren't really doing me a solid, so maybe my future husband will just appear out of thin air because that is about the only option I have left... If nothing else, at least going on these bad dates will keep my blog in business and get me one step closer to finding the future Mr. Mallory Minor. Stay tuned and stay buckled in because it sure will be a wild ride.
Author - mallory
I've always lived a wild life, so here I am to document it for the world... be ready for some fun adventures, xoxo.