I set out last weekend with one goal in mind: get a good story for the blog. Of course that's how I set out every weekend, but last weekend was special because it was the Polar Bear Plunge. A weekend where a bunch of drunk idiots get plastered at 9am, take off all their clothing, and jump into the freezing cold Atlantic Ocean in the middle of winter, all along the Jersey Shore... and we were no exception (minus the getting half-naked and going swimming part, but definitely the drinking part). Early Saturday morning, we packed into the car like little sober sardines and headed on our way to take part in the festivities. Once we arrived, we wasted no time and dove right into drinking, downing at least four in the first hour we were there.
I would love to sit here and write about some wild story that happened, like I got carried into the ocean by accident or ran into someone I used to have a crush on in high school, but truth be told most of the day is a blur, some is a complete brown out, and the rest was just a plain old blast. We ran around, bar to bar to beach to bar, drinking everything under the sun. I'm pretty sure we drank every type of alcohol on the market, and even scored some free rum pouches from a salesgirl (said pouch is currently soaking the inside of my purse and everything inside). I lost my sunglasses, my eyeliner, and my pride (jk), but man was it a great time. We met up with some friends from Philly, made some new friends, and drank for a consistent 14 hours. I even succeeded at making a pouty-looking guy have a little fun and turned his frown upside-down. It was a wonderful day into night drinking that I can only handle once every few months. I walked home in socks because my feet felt like they were actually going to fall off from wearing heels for more hours than I usually sleep at night and I met a stranger on the street and shared my blog with him (to which he proceeded to read every single entry I've made since May 2018, impressive). I haven't had so much fun dancing and singing with a live band in so long, it was really just a blast. The parts I can remember anyway.
I put in some work with the pouty-face boy who told me that we can't smile all the time but that's just a lie.. Anyone who knows me drunk knows that the smile never leaves my face. I'm pretty smiley sober, imagine when I get some alcohol flowing through my veins. I am a blast when I drink, not to toot my own horn, but I am a really fun time. I never get mean, I rarely drunk cry, I just forget everything that is real in life and dance and drink and have a great time. I forget to take snapchats, I forget to text people back, I'm in the moment and having a blast.
The pouty boy was cute, definitely my type in the way that he was dirty blonde and lately that's been what's good. Once he loosened up he was semi-fun, of course not as much as me, but we worked on it. He danced along and sang so he wasn't a dud on the dance floor, which is always a bonus, and once he did smile it was the BEST smile I've seen on a guy in a hot minute. But other than my observations, I know nothing about him except his name. No clue where he lives, where he's from, just that he was friends with the person we knew from Manayunk. By the time 11:30 rolled around, we'd been drinking since 9 and that point of drinking yourself to sobriety was real. We said our goodbyes to the new friends we made, I definitely kissed the pout goodbye, and off we went. To binge on some drunk food and crawl into our beds. That was the extent of my wild weekend story.
Drinking is a great time, but now that I'm 26 I can only do it heavily once in a blue moon (alcohol pun intended). Even casual drinking I can only handle once every other week. So I'm still on the prowl for the future Mr. Mallory Minor, and hopefully he comes out drinking on the same alternative weekends that I do... But until then, I will have to keep on kissing strangers on the dance floor I guess, since that's been working out pretty well for me... Until next time, xoxo.
Author - mallory
I've always lived a wild life, so here I am to document it for the world... be ready for some fun adventures, xoxo.