Social media is for the good stuff, right? People don't post about the shitty days. They don't share their breakups or the bad days, they just brag about their accomplishments or the trips they take. I'm guilty of that myself, everyone is. I mean, who wants to sit down after their own shitty day and read about how everyone they know had a bad day too? But today I am here to actually tell you about my shitty day. About how there must be something in the water of my high school to give me not one, but TWO shitty days in a row. Yesterday wasn't all that bad really, just a warm up to today. But God help me if today is a warm up to tomorrow...
A while back I read about Mercury being in retrograde at the same time as 7 other planets in retrograde... Well it must still be that way because none of the stars were aligned in my classroom today. Nothing and I mean nothing was stopping the children today. I'm now referring to my high school students as children because I might as well be teaching remedial art with the way they behaved today. Teacher's have an arsenal of special tricks they use to get kids to fall in line. I remember them from when I was in school and none of it worked. I tried yelling, giving them the silent treatment, standing over them and tapping on their papers to keep them on task, even the infamous "I'll wait..." These kids don't care about art and they definitely don't care about my class, but my heart goes out to the kids who actually want to be in there and the ones that ruin it for them. Sad.
I'd be lying if I didn't say that a portion of my prep period was spent crying in my supply closet. I let them get to me after only three weeks, but I didn't show my weakness in front of them. It isn't that I'm not cut out for this, because I've cried at all of my jobs I've had, and to be fair Urban schools are hard and I think any teacher would be lying if they said they had never cried as a teacher. It is hard. These kids are hard. The school is tough. But I'm not going to quit, I will stick it out until December, but I will share my shitty day with people because not every day is rainbows and fun. We all have shitty days, we just don't share them publicly. But someone who is reading this right now also had a shitty day, and if by writing this it means that someone feels like maybe their day was less awful, then I did my job as a teacher and touched one person today.
Today I was called white, annoying, stupid, bitch. I was shoved, told my art projects are retarded, told that I'm mean. But today I also had a student tell me I'm the best art teacher she ever had, that without an art degree I still know what I'm talking about, and that her classmates are rude. So yes, I had an awful day. The kind of day I hope doesn't happen again tomorrow. But what I learned from today is that high schoolers are very much still children, and so starting tomorrow they will have a seating chart and name plates just like the children they want to act like. Will I cry in my closet at least once more before I finish this assignment? Probably. But if you haven't cried at work or in your car after work, then you are doing something wrong. Because even on my fourth job in my career, I'll still shed tears every once in a while. Except now, I'm at least probably making a difference in someone's life more than I was as their wedding planner. So, raise your hand if you had a shitty day 🙋🏼 (and also raise a glass of wine too.) Cheers!
Author - mallory
I've always lived a wild life, so here I am to document it for the world... be ready for some fun adventures, xoxo.