Ghosting is probably my least favorite thing that millennials have "invented". Like I'm talking worse than people donating money to get Kylie Jenner to a billion dollars on GoFundMe or worse than an egg breaking the internet with 10 million followers... Over all of the stupid things millennials have done, ghosting is the absolute worst. In the past week, two people have inspired me to write this post today because they did the opposite of ghosting and STILL got ripped apart for it... But isn't that all we ask for? People to be honest and communicate with us? But when they ghost us we get angry, and when they tell us they aren't feeling it we get angry, so where's the happy medium?
Today my blog goes out to my roommate, and my other roommate's sister. Both are wonderful, amazing women who put themselves out in this scary world of dating, only to get a crash course in crazy men and 'mini-stalkers', and I'm here to set the scene for you... So sit down because this blog is a crazy one and I'm honored to be able to spread the horror stories to you all...
Exhibit A: Let's call him Tony. Tony and my roommate went out on a date. Things went well, he was nice (better than Henry), but she just wasn't that into him (totally fine). After the date he said 'let's do it again next week', but then never followed up. Okay fine, we assumed he wasn't actually that into it, and moved on, aka ghosted, but whatever. A week later, he sends a casual 'thought we were hanging out last week, lol'. LOL? Adding that to the end of a serious sentence is a whole other blog post in itself... moving on. The conversation went on for a bit and long story short, she tried to end it with 'I had fun, but I just don't see this going anywhere'... *and cue the crazy* He. Went. OFF. And I mean like way further than a gentleman should. As in be gracious and take your losses like a man, say goodbye, and move on. He responded with things like 'I've been rejected by 150 women and I demand a reason why...', and 'How would you know if you don't see it going anywhere if you didn't even give it another shot'. This went on for about a day, to the point where any normal human would be embarrassed... but not Tony. He persisted.
Enter exhibit B: Let's call him Eric. Eric went on a date with my roommate's sister. This is the best story, better than Henry, so I don't want to leave any small detail out. The date started with Eric texting he would be late, when in fact he didn't arrive late, but this detail is crucial. He started the date with a never forgetting opener about why he was "late". He asked his date if she had ever heard of Pilonidal Cysts. (Don't Google it just yet... keep reading.) Unless you're a doctor or nurse, the average person probably doesn't know what the P word could possibly stand for... But then, he kindly explained it to her. He proceeded to tell her that he was suffering a great medical case of ANAL CYSTS. Yes, you read that correctly. On a first date, this young man sat there with a straight face and talked about his asshole for forty-five minutes... It takes a really special person not to ghost him on the spot and fake a bathroom trip and never return leaving him with the bill and his cysts to tend to. But she stuck it out like a saint... If only this was the worst thing he did on the date, (not that anything can compare to his butthole leaking), but he also pulled a Henry and said the food was expensive and other minor red flags that would never warrant a second date. But imagine Eric's surprise when his date told him she didn't see this going anywhere afterwards! But what? It went so well.... Poor Eric. For days, and I'm talking like two straight days, he sent paragraphs on paragraphs of texts not understanding what went wrong.... asking for justification and explanation of how someone could not see a future with someone they didn't even get to know yet... well here's a thought, Eric.. maybe because you talked about your asshole for 45 minutes? Just a small maybe though.... I'm not totally sure.
But here are two really strong examples of men who were unsatisfied hearing there was no future with them. When in reality, neither of them were deserving of even a closure text. These women could have led them on, ignored them, or moved to another state and never dated a man again... But they didn't... They chose to tell them "hey, I don't see a future here, sorry." And for whatever reason, that was unacceptable. Maybe because 150 other women have so rudely turned down Tony or because Eric was genuinely confused why she wouldn't want to care to his cysts.... But these women were being kind, and they still weren't satisfied. The moral of the story here is to follow the example and be honest with people. If you don't see a future with someone you don't need to explain yourself, you don't need to justify why, you don't owe anyone an explanation into your feelings. So many times people get caught up in how to explain a situation to someone else, when you don't need to. Your life, your feelings, your emotions are the property of you. You don't owe anyone anything that allows them insight in to your life. No one get's to make you feel less than yourself without your permission, and that is what we all need to remember.
Author - mallory
I've always lived a wild life, so here I am to document it for the world... be ready for some fun adventures, xoxo.